Mischief & Magic
by desertredwolf
Summary: A small collection of oneshots dedicated to Claude Amelia Song. There are a variety of characters and prompts here — all relating to her favorite things from Harry Potter. Happy (belated) birthday, Jenny! Even if it's not your birthday, I hope you have a wonderful day, regardless! [A collection of gift! fics: unrelated oneshots & drabbles.]
1. Patented Daydream Charms

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. All rights go to respective owners.**

* * *

 **Enchanted Dreams**

Luna felt the salty sea spray hit her cheeks. She could _smell_ the brine, which was surprisingly muted and pleasant. The wooden deck of the ship creaked, rocking with the gentle waves.

"Captain, what are your orders?"

She turned and found herself face-to-face with a young sailor, not too much older than herself. His face was tanned and slightly burnt from long days in the sun. He was looking up at her expectedly, and he wasn't the only one waiting for her to speak. The other members of the crew were busy around the deck, but Luna could tell they had an attentive ear turned toward her.

"Orders?" she asked calmly.

"Yes, Captain," the sailor replied. He wrung a neckerchief in his hands nervously. "The island is within sight. You only have the map that leads us to treasure. What are your orders?"

Luna felt her lips turn up into a small smile. This was bound to be quite fun. She drew her gaze up toward the mast of the ship. A black flag with a white skull over crossbones snapped in the breeze.

 _This is exciting_ , she thought. _I get to be a pirate captain! Maybe even a pirate queen… Do they have those?_

A cough drew her back to reality. She looked back down at the sailor, who was still waiting.

"Load a small boat," Luna replied. She turned toward the rest of the crew. They were no longer pretending to work and were waiting for her orders.

"Today," she shouted, "we find the greatest treasure any pirate has ever found!"

The crew raised their fists, roaring in approval. She made her way to the small boat with a handful of the crew, and set off for shore. It was a short trip. Luna soon found herself wading knee deep in the shallows, dragging the boat onto the shore with her crew.

She could _feel_ the damp sand shifting beneath the soles of her leather boats…

Then, all too suddenly, it ended.

"Luna? What did you think?"

She blinked, allowing herself a moment for her eyes to refocus. Fred and George Weasley were sitting across from her at a secluded library table.

Right. She was helping them test their products.

"How long was I under?" she asked, her voice soft and quiet.

"Five minutes," George replied. He leaned forward slightly, clearly excited to hear her feedback. "So? What—"

"—did you think?" finished Fred.

"It was very realistic," she said, "but it needs to be longer — _much_ longer. I barely got to the good part."

Fred nodded eagerly and jotted a note down on a piece of parchment.

"Anything else?" he asked.

"I would imagine some people might enjoy a romance added into the story," she replied honestly. She wished she could have had a camera to capture their blushes.

"Luna!" George exclaimed quietly.

"What?" she said, pretending not to notice his embarrassment. Honestly, it was just too easy sometimes. "I would think some people like the idea of saving the pretty damsel in distress, or perhaps being swept off their feet by a dashing rogue."

"And which do you prefer?" Fred asked. George smacked his arm.

"Seriously, Fred?" he said, rolling his eyes. "Sorry, Luna."

"What? Wait— No! I didn't mean it like that!"

She just smiled and winked at the two of them.

"Let me know when the next batch is ready, will you?"

At their nods, she packed up her books and skipped out of the library.

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Prompt ( _Singing a Song Along — The Golden Snitch)_ : (object) Patented Daydream Charms

 **Word count (not including title and author's note): 583**


	2. A Very Weasley Food Fight

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. All rights go to respective owners.**

* * *

 **Food Fight!**

It was lunchtime, and the kitchen in the Burrow was a code-red disaster zone.

What was supposed to have been lunch was on the floor, and plates and napkins were chaotically scattered around the room. Most of the chairs were flipped upside-down on the ground, lining the long edge of the table. The legs were pointed outward, as if they were pikes. The remaining few chairs were piled onto the table. Perched precariously at the very top of the unstable tower was little eight-year-old Ginny Weasley.

"I'm Queen of the Castle!" she taunted. "Off with their heads!"

Where she got that phrase, no one really knew. All anyone was sure of was that one moment, it was silent and still; then in the next heartbeat, everything descended into madness.

George darted forward and grabbed an armful of tomatoes off the counter. He mercilessly tossed them at Ron, hitting him once— twice— _three_ times in the chest.

"Ouch! Stop that!" Ron shouted, taking a large tomato squarely in the face. His ears and neck flushed red in anger. "I will get my revenge!" He grabbed a loaf of bread from where it had fallen onto the ground during the original chaos and relentlessly started hitting George with it.

Meanwhile, Charlie had taken a sniping position on top of the counter. He nimbly dodged food missiles sent in his direction by Bill, while returning fire with grapes and baby carrots. Red grapes burst open on the eldest brother's shirt. Suddenly, Charlie switched targets.

"Hey, George!" he shouted.

The younger twin turned, only to have a baby carrot hit him in the middle of his forehead. Dramatically, he collapsed onto the ground.

" _George_!" Ginny shrieked.

"Go … on … without me!" he gasped. He reached out a shaky hand, before falling still.

Ginny leapt off the unsteady chair tower ( _"Ginny! Merlin, let me help you!" Bill shouted._ ) and rushed to George's side. Shaking his shoulder, she began pleading for him to get up—

—only to take a head of lettuce to the chest.

Gracefully, she fell to her side next to George. Bill glared at the lettuce thrower, Fred, who had the decency to look horrified; he took out his wand. The three remaining siblings, who were still standing on the opposite end of the room, looked visibly concerned.

"Nobody," Bill said, "hurts my baby sister."

( _"Hey! What am I? Chopped liver?" was George's muffled protest.)_

Bill's voice was quiet, but firm and deliberate. Ron audibly gulped. He raised his wand — not at his brothers, but at the food on the ground.

" _Oppugno!_ "

Every piece of food that had been thrown during the fight levitated briefly before chasing Bill's three siblings out of the room. Shrieking, the Weasley brothers ran into the lounge.

"The grapes!" Ron screamed. " _The grapes!_ "

The little round fruit had been animated by the spell and was trying to nibble on his toes. The other brothers could not come to his aid. Fred was dealing with multiple loaves of bread smacking him, and Charlie had baby carrots chasing him around the couch.

" _What is going on here? Where is your father?_ "

Every Weasley froze. The animated food fell motionless on the ground. George and Ginny scrambled to their feet. All eyes turned to an irate Mrs. Weasley, who had just stepped out of the Floo.

Oh, they were in _so_ much trouble!

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 **A/N: Thank you for betaing, Tart (TartCat207)!**

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Prompt ( _Singing a Song Along — The Golden Snitch_ ): (spell) Oppugno

 **Word count (not including title and author's note): 563**


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